It’s so funny how the universe works. I started talking to a former Air Force guy (because they are clearly the best), and I mentioned that if he could help me talk my way into getting a ride on a fighter jet, I would love him forever. His response was- so he claims- he’s trying to purchase a military surplus T-38 and he would be happy to take me up. How glorious, if it’s actually true.
I have it all planned out, I’ve talked to people who have done it, all I need is a day of fasting, a stock of Scopalamine patches, and a pilot who doesn’t mind me screaming. With excitement mostly, but I’m sure it’s scary as hell, and let’s face it; I’m totally, embarrassingly vocal in times of stress or…stimulation :)
And the T-38!!! The first supersonic trainer, tiny but agile and really, really fast. Certainly it would make my biplane ride looks like a bumper car in the park. It actually looks like a lawn dart but even if it crashes, they can pick up the pieces of my smeared, smoking carcass off the earth and see that I’d still be grinning with happiness. I won’t plan on a flight happening, but it would be sooooo awesome if it did. And I’ve heard that you tend to pass out when they pull some G’s and I picture flickering in and out of consciousness, just begging: “Faster! Harder!” Yeah, I know, the lack of sex is getting critical. I only have a few more months to go, I just need distractions!
I am still biking a ton, clothes are getting loose, my baby is in the shop getting doctored, I’m taking my vitamins and eating right, and the panic attacks are minimal right now. Hallelujiah, it’s a fucking Christmas miracle. Actually, it’s years of training, practice, and a whole lotta uncomfortable and difficult work. Depression and anxiety sound so innocuous, but they suck the life out of everything, and make even the activities of daily living into epic mental battles. It reminds me of my mantra for right now: “Do hard things”. Oooooo, I would love to do at least one hard thing: Flying upside down going super freakin fast!!! Then maybe some hot sex up against the aircraft. Since I’m dreaming anyway :) The fly-in this weekend will hopefully help take a little of the edge off…
Love to all
Learning To Fly- Pink Floyd
Fall At Your Feet- Crowded House
The High Road- Broken Bells
Stuttering- Ben’s Brother
Can’t Get It Out Of My Head- ELO
Let Me Down Easy- Chris Isaak
You Dropped A Bomb On Me- The Gap Band
Birdhouse In Your Soul- They Might Be Giants
Coast To Coast- Eliot Smith
It Would Be You- Gary Allen