Damn the wolves of depression, I won this battle!!! Wahoo and phew.
What worked in 24 hours: I started with a new acupuncturist and spent time with wildly creative, nurturing friends. Thank goodness. What didn’t work: cigarettes, insomnia. Mixed results: crying, curling up in fetal position, and the beer and jello shots last night.
My adrenal production must be constant and intense. I think I will be biking fast and hard today to try and balance out those chemicals. It’s hot as hell out, I’m not particularly looking forward to it. No pain, no gain though. Actually, I’m pretty happy that I was even able to get out of bed today, much less drag my weeping ass around to get a few things done. Thank goodness I’m so driven by the panic attacks, or I’d never be able to function.
My new needle lady was all concerned when the tear ducts turned on. I had to reassure her that I just cry all the time sometimes, and it’s nothing to panic about. Right now is definitely one of those times. Ugh, I have to go deal with people this afternoon. I have an hour to find my happy zen place. I think I miss the guy from last summer who just gave me a bunch of green butter, some money, and told me to bake something delicious. That would help me find my happy place so I could work better. I also hate to admit it, but I sure as hell miss the Concerta- my brain hasn’t felt as organized either before or since. I wonder where she can stick a big needle in to replace that. Holy shit, what a difference a few needles can make. I wonder if that’s the universe’s way of telling me I need to be penetrated appropriately. Hmmm.
Love to all
Johnny Coolman (remake)- Colin James
Tragedy- The Bee Gees
But Not Tonight- DM