Strangers

I was worried it would happen, and so of course it did. You should have seen the expression on my ex’s face when he walked into me at my work today.  I looked at him, he looked at me, and I just kept on walking. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him doing a massive double take, it was hilarious. I’d bet he blamed everything on me being hysterical and crazy. I hope that seeing my non-reaction was a blow to his inflated ego and the stupid story he constructed in his head.

I hope he gets the help he needs, but guys like that never do. He isn’t even aware that he needs help, he thinks he’s just perfect, and why do people keep leaving him? He was good at the courtship rituals, but he really had no idea how to truly treat partners and he’ll never change. I’d also bet he’ll never come to my work again. I imagine he ran out of there with his tail between his legs, running to whine to whatever new woman he has in his life. Women grieve; men replace.

I was hoping he wouldn’t show up there ever.  He completely ripped me apart emotionally before I figured out what a callous person he was. What the fuck is the universe trying to say by throwing this asshole right in my face again? Another reminder that I’m “easily taken advantage of” or “prone to getting emotionally and/or physically abused?” I’m aware dammit. I’d rather be single forever than be with someone who treats me badly or who tears me down instead of building me up.  I want none of that- I have better things to do.

SOTD

Waiting On A Sunny Day- Bruce Springsteen
We Might As Well Be Strangers- Keane
Tomorrow- Chris Young
I Hate Myself For Loving You- Joan Jett

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2 Responses to Strangers

  1. nobody says:

    I won’t presume to interpret for the universe. (To quote Eliot: “Do I dare disturb the universe?”)

    But it sounds like your reaction was part of you telling the rest of yourself that you’re not getting caught up in cruel people’s bullshit and assholery. I mean, sure, you have an emotional reaction–that’s normal and would happen to anyone. But you didn’t get drawn into any reactions to him, and that’s pretty great.

    Plus, I always find it hilarious to not react when people obviously expect/want me to. Of course, I can’t show that I think it’s hilarious, but I can still enjoy it plenty without showing anything on my face. It makes me feel like I have power.

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    • Lol, thank you! It did make me feel much better, vindicated even. He had been so awful to me, but blamed me, so it made me laugh inside to see him freak out a little while I kept my face completely blank like he was a total stranger. I’m never giving him power over me again.

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