My energy was so strong the other night that it was no surprise that all the lights in my room (and nowhere else in the house, wtf?) blew out at once. The breaker blew, lightbulbs blew, it was a mess. Then today my period started and it all made sense. Hormones make everyone a little crazy, and mine were intense this time. It’s lovely to feel the purge of energy suddenly get released, like lancing a boil and letting go of the yuckiness inside.
Perhaps I should just go seclude myself in the mountains for the week of PMS; it would probably be best for the people (and lights) around me. That week I get a wild surge of pissy power, a strong sexual energy unlike my normal romantic self, and I feel like a wild woman even if I don’t act on it so much these days.
I have to find a holistic way to deal with my hormones. I can’t always run it out, and when it combines with the brain chemicals of a panic attack or something- shit gets messy. Oh man, I sure went off on my ex when I got the surge. I told him it was no wonder dogs hate him and he has no friends. It was shitty thing to say and I feel dirty for saying it. Although, he did say it himself many times, that dogs hated him and he had no friends. Which should make any normal woman bolt for the door, but it only made me feel compassion and a wish to help. That didn’t work out so well for me. Then again, I was trained very well to pamper my abusers. I hate that shit, and I’m not dating again until I break that goddamn pattern. Oh my god, the vampire is sucking a lot of blood this month; no wonder I’m exhausted.
Love to all
Drinking Class- Lee Brice
Red- Taylor Swift (who annoys the fuck out of me)