Red

My energy was so strong the other night that it was no surprise that all the lights in my room (and nowhere else in the house, wtf?) blew out at once. The breaker blew, lightbulbs blew, it was a mess. Then today my period started and it all made sense. Hormones make everyone a little crazy, and mine were intense this time. It’s lovely to feel the purge of energy suddenly get released, like lancing a boil and letting go of the yuckiness inside.

Perhaps I should just go seclude myself in the mountains for the week of PMS; it would probably be best for the people (and lights) around me. That week I get a wild surge of pissy power, a strong sexual energy unlike my normal romantic self, and I feel like a wild woman even if I don’t act on it so much these days.

I have to find a holistic way to deal with my hormones. I can’t always run it out, and when it combines with the brain chemicals of a panic attack or something- shit gets messy. Oh man, I sure went off on my ex when I got the surge. I told him it was no wonder dogs hate him and he has no friends. It was shitty thing to say and I feel dirty for saying it. Although, he did say it himself many times, that dogs hated him and he had no friends. Which should make any normal woman bolt for the door, but it only made me feel compassion and a wish to help. That didn’t work out so well for me. Then again, I was trained very well to pamper my abusers. I hate that shit, and I’m not dating again until I break that goddamn pattern. Oh my god, the vampire is sucking a lot of blood this month; no wonder I’m exhausted.
Love to all

SOTD
Drinking Class- Lee Brice
Red- Taylor Swift (who annoys the fuck out of me)

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Red

  1. Kyra says:

    I once blew out the circuit for an entire floor of a mental hospital. Pretty crazy.

    I hope you find something that eases the PMS. I have a terrible time with my hormones, so I hear where you’re coming from.

    Like

    • An entire floor? That’s epic! You clearly have a lot of power in your spirit- which I see in your writing as well. I’m not even a bit surprised!!! xoxo

      Like

      • Kyra says:

        Yep, I walked into my room, flipped the light on, and boom. No more light. And then no one but the charge nurse knew where the breaker box was, and they couldn’t find her for an hour. It was a strange night.

        Like

      • That’s fascinating! Have you ever explored the idea that you may be an empath or have some medicine women in your ancestry? It seems like you have so much power, but it’s been directed in instead of out. I hope that is ok to say, I know it sounds a little hippie, and western thinking generally doesn’t approve of those kinds of ideas. But I have some female friends that would argue it very well. I would love to hear the whole story, if you ever feel like writing about that night. Super interesting!!!

        Like

      • Kyra says:

        I don’t know that much about that stuff, honestly. I actually just had genetic ancestry testing done (I participated in a genetic IBD study, and the ancestry report was just a side bonus), and I’m 99.6% European (53.7% British/Irish, 13.3% French/German, 3.7% Scandinavian, 27.2% “broadly European,” whatever that means), so I clearly don’t have any Native blood. I wouldn’t want to appropriate their culture by calling myself something from a culture I don’t belong to, you know?

        The whole story of that night…well, basically I was upset with my therapist and stressed out about a really nasty family meeting. I went back to my room after dinner to watch Netflix and knit, but then I blew the circuit. I’ve had weird stuff like that all my life–streetlights go out when I walk under them, I can’t keep watches that run, and electronics screw up around me. I always figured it just had to do with my electromagnetic field being wonky.

        Like

      • Wow, it sounds like your electromagnetic field is simply supercharged! And medicine women appear in different forms in all different cultures on the planet. I use the term to mean women (sometimes called pagan or witches or less nice things) who are tapped into some wisdom and power that I haven’t figured out 🙂 Who knows, but it’s super interesting to learn about. Thanks for telling me that story because wow, just WOW!!! Super cool, you just need to harness that!!!

        Like

      • Kyra says:

        I probably.did have pagan ancestors, although I have only traced my family back to the late 1600’s, well within the Christian era.

        If only i could figure out how to harness my power…that’s always been an issue for me.

        Like

Comments are closed.