Use me

He called me babe. Unlike that last dude, I’m pretty sure it’s not because he can’t keep track of which woman he’s with. I adore terms of endearment, especially since he gives me plenty of space and doesn’t get all clingy. And since I’ve worked with him, I know what kind of person he is. That stupid electrician was so sketchy that I was off balance and paranoid all the time (should listen to my intuition). A solid dude and I can just relax and depend on his word. I love that. I got shit to do, and if we’re on different but converging paths, I need to know that you’ll be loyal even when I’m not around.

He passed the baby test too. After years of seeing children recoil instinctively from my creepy dad, I totally analyze how children respond to whoever I’m seeing. My one friend got handed a baby and it was amaaaazing. His voice like warm chocolate pouring over a tiny child who lit up like it was Christmas. Children love him, and I knew I would too.

Who knows what will last and work out, what magical kind of chemical reactions it takes for something to click like it was meant to be. I keep wishing for a combination something like the honorable, honest, motivated nature of my yuppie ex-fiance, and the street smart attitude extreme sports hyperactivity of my nurse ex-boyfriend.  I’m not that smart or interesting, but holy fuck there’s a lot of boring and unmotivated guys. And don’t even get me started on how much I hate facial hair, skinny jeans, and those awful birth-control glasses. You know the ones I mean. It’s like a secret code that says “bad poetry, post-coital earnest political conversations, and crappy sex.” Too cynical?


Use Me – Bill Withers
Bruises – Chairlift
Stay A Little Longer – Brothers Osborne
I Wanna Hear It From Your Lips – Eric Carmen

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