Going crazy is easy; people do it all the time. Almost every day you can read in the news about someone completely losing their shit in one way or another. The really hard part is coming back after you’ve lost it, after you’ve bottomed out, after you’ve wrecked your life and/or lost everything.
One of my dudes is crashed out right now, going down hard. Unfortunately he has that macho mentality so common in combat vets. They’re trained to stifle emotion and not ask for help for emotional issues. I’ve been trying to reach out to him, offer assistance however I can. Typical man though, he sees it as weakness to accept anything. Those types of men also don’t often see the value in “women’s work” which is too bad, as some of that can be very beneficial for coming back from the hell of war. Not that I can tell him that, he’s blocking everyone out. I don’t know how to get through, or if I should even try. I’m certain that he doesn’t think I can handle any of it: the anger, the PTSD, the drinking, the work struggles. It’s not my dream, that shit ain’t fun, but it bothers me not at all. Anyone can do the happy times, it’s the hard times that separate out the real ones. Besides, I could be called “damaged goods” as my yuppie ex-fiance put it, or I could be called “experienced with hard core shit that might apply to you when you need it most.” Ahhh semantics.
I know it sounds selfish, but I hope the dude steadies out soon, with or without my help. He’s got mad hot bedroom skills that I sorely miss, and he’s too out of it to realize how much a few orgasms and some full body contact would make him feel better. Dammit. Come back to me.
Joey – Concrete Blonde
Cry For Help – Rick Astley
Let Love Speak Up Itself – The Beautiful South
Nikita – Elton John
Shellshock – New Order
Space Age Love Song – AFOS
If You Needed Somebody – Bad Company