The glow of candlelight

My goodness what a challenging week. I think I drove my coworker crazy; my perkiness already makes her a little nuts since she’s so angry and unhappy. Seeing how I reacted to the fire seems to have bent her brain. Besides that, she’s now noticing how our employees have started calling me directly, stopping by to say hello, and ignoring her completely even though she sits 6 feet away. Perhaps it’s finally getting through to her that if you are an evil bitch to people, they will avoid you, resent you, and you then have created a cycle of unhappiness.

I’ve talked with her about depression (hers is the severe, angry kind), and I’ve noticed that there are certain types of people that can’t grasp the idea that I have such awful depression, when I am perky and nice most of the time. It’s simple really; it’s completely a choice in how you treat people, and not allowing your personal challenges to affect others. They say depression isn’t contagious, but it totally can be. If you feel like shit, you might act like shit, treat others like shit, and it all comes back to you. If you feel like shit and treat others well, you will have instant mood boosters. Yet one more way you can trick your brain into feeling better. But the worse you feel, the more challenging it can be.

Phew, it was a long day. I came home and had a steamy shower by candlelight, tried to forget how much chocolate I ate this week, and now maybe I can sleep. It’s funny how good and balanced I feel, all things considered. I see so many people who have mental illnesses that will never get acknowledged, much less addressed, so I feel like I’m doing pretty damn well.

Love to all

Not A Moment Too Soon – Tim McGraw
I Wanna Get Lost With You  – Stereophonics

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