I’m so glad that I don’t work in the pediatrics unit. I have a badge that allows me access to all parts of the hospital, but that area is really hard. All those years of teaching and working in classrooms, plus my extra-strong maternal instincts – holy crap just seeing the little kids on that unit makes my eyes water. I know it’s different when you’re helping, but that’s beyond my limit. I can defend working in an emergency room; it’s easier to let go of the emotion when you are part of the team that’s responding to the crisis and working to make it better. That was the VA ER though, so there were no pediatrics cases, or it would have been very different. It was super cool to work with a committed team of doctors, nurses, specialists, and everyone involved in getting a critical case into the ER and properly taken care of. I loved being part of that team, it’s a rush, and it’s very satisfying. Especially since I spent so many hours as a patient, I extra appreciate being on the other side of the desk.
Working in this new hospital is mostly wonderful; my director said I can take as many classes as I want, there are tons of intelligent and interesting people on campus, and I’m helping to run a fantastic healthcare facility that is committed to taking care of the community. That is pretty great. I wish my particular role wasn’t so stressful, and that I didn’t have to work mostly at a desk, but no job is perfect. I miss being outdoors and moving all day, even if roofing wasn’t the best choice for me – I’m still famous among the roofers, lmfao. This immobility is some f%$#@& up s#@# that’s driving me a little crazy. Not sure yet how to achieve optimal balance.
For now, I’m going to celebrate finishing my writing project (twelve blog posts for a construction website), with a visit to OMSI, my burlesque training, and planning a vacation. I need to get out of the city and away from the career stress for a while. I always figured that I would need a job to support my writing and art habits, and I need work that matters, but if it gives me a heart attack from stress, it kinda defeats the whole purpose. Time to step up my healing game.
A Million Miles Away – The Plimsouls
Nobody To Blame – Chris Stapleton