Meat substitutions

One of the dudes got frustrated and sent me the following text after about two weeks of silence: “When are you going to let me hit that??? I promise I make you cumb all over it.”


Modern men are so stupid, seriously. Just because I’m sex positive, doesn’t mean I’ll automatically fuck you. And if you use poor spelling and grammar, your chances are pretty much shot. The only way to get me naked is via my brain, you fucking ape. Since I no longer cycle hard like I did on pharmaceuticals, you can hope I’ll drink enough to make you attractive, but it isn’t likely.

I’m pretty sure he was only trying so hard because he wanted to be the one roofer that finally got to score – they’ve all been trying with no success, and he would have just told everyone. I admit to a wild satisfaction when I shut him the fuck down. Dudes like that remind me why there’s such a huge market for sex toys.

The Other Boys – NERVO
Sex (I’m A…) – Berlin

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