I see you everywhere

The wilderness and camping on the island was wonderful – finally getting away from the sound of traffic and seeing something new and beautiful yet so familiar down to the bone. Even after all this time, it still feels a little raw to pass through that area and I was so glad I was with a fun friend to distract me. I knew she was good in the woods – all my female friends tend to have bad ass skills – but holy crap I loved her camp cooking. Then we went on her first real mountain bike ride, where sections were super steep, rocky, with huge roots and a few drop offs, and then this perfect long downhill winding section. Which we hiked back up and sailed back down.

I ditched my burlesque class for the weekend vacation, but I kept thinking about it. I need my muddy time in the woods, but I need my civilized time too. And I sure as hell need my sparkly time. Unfortunately I feel too awful to do anything else fun, and I’m working too much to have much social life. I need a lavender lemon drop martini, some serious personal grooming, and holy fuck I feel awful- coming back from vacation, summer solstice is over (days getting shorter and headed back into cold dark winter) and back into high stress job – I hope that’s not a crash I see coming.

And really I ditched the burlesque class forever. It’s a matter of conserving my energy for what I can manage, and trying to ride out the waves of blue. My non-sparkly job takes my time, hurts my soul sometimes, and hooking up with the asshole dude didn’t help (wtf is wrong with me), even though his equipment helped release some happy chemicals, and the physical contact helped me ground.

Note to self: Get new front shocks and replace front brake pads


21 Summer – Brothers Osborne
Everywhere – Tim McGraw


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2 Responses to I see you everywhere

  1. I feel like you don’t need to ditch your burlesque class forever, go back to it when you are feeling less drained. I hope you don’t have a crash on the way either. We are always here for you to talk to if it happens.

    Love from 14 x

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