Brownian motion

I love to watch the movement of groups of people, especially on sidewalks. The interweaving of threads, the dance and sway as paths cross and part forever. It makes me feel more connected to the tapestry of humanity, like my thread has meaning and value. It took me a very long time to realize that it does. Even longer to realize that my thread is a little sparkly. And hard for some people to handle, for non-sparkly reasons.

At what point do I tell the wonderful new dude that I’ve battled mental health issues for a long time? He seems super compassionate and understanding, but I’m exhausted and terrified to even think about that whole conversation. Yeah, I got baggage, and not the trendy cute kind. I don’t know that I want to bring it up for a while – maybe if we date a year I will tell him about it. Since I already messed up by having (super hot) sex on the first date – damn he’s got amazing skills – it might be a moot point anyway. Like a couple of molecules spinning through the universal cup of tea, touching for a moment, and then lost in the reaches of space.

Much Too Young – Garth Brooks
Hard Lesson – The Burned

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