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Summer is wonderful, but it also makes me really sad. All the sunshine highlights the things I can’t fix about me or the world around me. And above it all, I’m so unbelievably homesick. I wish the evil fucks would … Continue reading

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Distracted

I stayed up late buying a plane ticket, but I’m not at all sure it’s the right thing to do. I do need to get the hell out of here for a while; is visiting family really my best option, … Continue reading

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The great cycle

Communication can be challenging. I’m getting better at it a little at a time, but I think by the time I achieve any mastery, I will be old as hell. I can’t yet even explain to my closest friends why … Continue reading

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You got it all

The one thing that I definitively miss about my fiance was how rock solid he was. I didn’t know how rare it is to find someone so honest, who I could always depend on to do the right thing – … Continue reading

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Just say yes

Rolling through the hospital now, it feels like every single one of my 270 former staff have stopped me to ask questions. Some can’t believe that I would leave the well-paying desk job to take a steep pay cut for … Continue reading

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Float therapy #5

I fell asleep in the sensory deprivation tank today, it was amazing. Usually I just enjoy the time, but I was exhausted, and as soon as I got comfortable and turned the light out, I was out as well. Interestingly … Continue reading

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When I think of you

When I write stories, I try to give them happy endings. Unlike real life, I want my characters to always experience closure, things working out, and lasting happiness. In reality humans are messy, life is painful and complicated, and getting … Continue reading

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Heartbeat

I have stolen the hands of time from the heart of the world’s clock. Now I feel responsible for the faltering, trembling hesitations of minutes, but I have big plans for the empty spaces in between. The rusty mechanical heartbeat … Continue reading

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Written in a song

I went hiking and rolled off the mountain just as the rains started. Much revived, I went and found the car that I don’t need but am getting anyway – completely in love that it’s the most beautiful shade of … Continue reading

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Super blue

In a sunny blooming park I ran another 5k this morning. I was craving the happy chemical release, and hoping the challenge would distract from the mental circles I keep running in. Physical exertion can distract me from how broken … Continue reading

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