Tag Archives: bipolar

The searing light of reality

One of the worst things is waking up and the first thing you think is “Holy fuck, what did I do???” Whether it’s opening your eyes to see an ICU sign and equipment everywhere, or the cold light of sobriety … Continue reading

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Evergreen symphony

These days when I get a burning desire to do something, I usually run with it as much as I am able. The symphony called to me last night, and I got a little dressed up and went by myself, … Continue reading

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Persistence over gravity

My victim training left me with a fiery instinctive attraction and sometimes automatic submission to domineering men, but with a pure and intense terror of what destroyers they can be. I know this well. But it’s also my fault for … Continue reading

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Music for my muse

Oh my love, let me sing a song for you. I will put letters and words together in new and improved ways, will combine notes to make you swoon with love and lust. Then you can hum, sing, purr the … Continue reading

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Volume at highway speed

Sometimes I wonder what it might have been like if the timing had been different – but it matters not at all except if I can use the images for short story material. There’s no sense in wondering, because that … Continue reading

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Damn fools

The lawyer dude started preaching a little about how it’s impossible to be depressed when you consider how lucky we are, especially in comparison with many parts of the world. I just smiled and looked at him, inwardly wrestling with … Continue reading

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Bipolar retirement planning

Not so much. I cashed out my previous 401K when I left government work and headed for teaching. Depression derailed the  %$#@ out of everything, and how can you plan for a future when you have no plans for being … Continue reading

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Lucky stars

How lucky do I feel? Do I dare? Yes, I sure as hell do. I keep a low profile and stick to my own agenda, and I have biking and hiking and paddling to do, get the hell out of … Continue reading

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Zen as hell

So it was art night at my house tonight- I finally got to see someone using oil paints – and I noticed that my color palette has completely changed.  For a long time it was  primarily shades of blue and … Continue reading

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Bipolar getting older

The whole thing was awful, but every now and then I get a little giggle because I’ll bet they never saw that letter coming. Given what I’ve read in the news since then, I like to think it really did … Continue reading

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