Tag Archives: panic attacks

Brownian motion

I love to watch the movement of groups of people, especially on sidewalks. The interweaving of threads, the dance and sway as paths cross and part forever. It makes me feel more connected to the tapestry of humanity, like my … Continue reading

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The rush

The snow is falling, gusting down in fat, wet flakes and I’m so happy about it. I want to go out hiking in it, basking in the beauty of it, enjoying how quiet it makes the city, wishing I could … Continue reading

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Insomnia playlist

I love and hate them, those hours before dawn. When sleep is a dim impossibility, and my head is overflowing the second I wake up a little after 1:00am. I was so excited to write all day today, and when … Continue reading

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Under the harvest moon

A little wave blew through today, and I could almost smell the ocean, hear the waves breaking on a rocky shore, feel the familiar path beneath my feet. Followed immediately by a wash of homesickness and longing for what is … Continue reading

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Urban lullabies

How powerful does a human experience have to be before it leaves a mark on your soul? I only ask because there’s some shit I don’t want to repeat in any other lifetime. I couldn’t sleep last night – all … Continue reading

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Damn fools

The lawyer dude started preaching a little about how it’s impossible to be depressed when you consider how lucky we are, especially in comparison with many parts of the world. I just smiled and looked at him, inwardly wrestling with … Continue reading

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Spring fever

I walked out of OMSI and by the time I got to the parking lot I was in a hyperventilating panic attack. It’s so embarrassing – I always bust ass to get out of public view, it’s challenging maintaining your … Continue reading

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One stitch at a time

I give up; this is not working for me at all. Being trapped at a desk surrounded by angry people and constant drama – when I work hard to create a calm and peaceful life – ugh I have to … Continue reading

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The other side of the desk

I’m so glad that I don’t work in the pediatrics unit. I have a badge that allows me access to all parts of the hospital, but that area is really hard. All those years of teaching and working in classrooms,  … Continue reading

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Centuries later

I hate panic attacks. It’s been a while since I had one that bad, where I needed to have external help to redirect. The tears, the inability to breathe, the giant wave of complete despair. I had to go down … Continue reading

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