Tag Archives: PTSD

Mother nature throwing down the gauntlet

Apologies to my readers for the swamp of depression instead of the auto porn or travel writing that I prefer to post. Shit gets messy sometimes. I write about my battles with PTSD, depression, and anxiety because it helps me … Continue reading

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That moment

“Keep your legs together, keep your legs together,” I kept chanting in my head as the police car rolled up to my window. My vape pen was discreetly tucked between my thighs to stay warm, but the tip was visible … Continue reading

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Persistence over gravity

My victim training left me with a fiery instinctive attraction and sometimes automatic submission to domineering men, but with a pure and intense terror of what destroyers they can be. I know this well. But it’s also my fault for … Continue reading

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Music for my muse

Oh my love, let me sing a song for you. I will put letters and words together in new and improved ways, will combine notes to make you swoon with love and lust. Then you can hum, sing, purr the … Continue reading

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Rehab

It’s been six years from the last major suicide attempt, five years out from my last pharmaceutical – non-recreational anyway. The pills in my life now are gummy vitamins and vitamin D. It’s mind bending to be in a completely … Continue reading

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DIY therapist

Ahhh, the secret method for de-stressing after busy day at the hospital with sucky co-worker: mix lavender argan essential oil with almond oil or oatmeal lotion, and smear it all over. The essential oils are calming and good for relaxation, … Continue reading

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Music to break your heart

People who saw me crash would never believe how well I’m doing now. Actually I prefer to never see most people again if they’ve seen me bottom out in hard core depression, they never look at you the same, rarely … Continue reading

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The landscape of emotional destruction

Going crazy is easy; people do it all the time. Almost every day you can read in the news about someone completely losing their shit in one way or another. The really hard part is coming back after you’ve lost … Continue reading

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Dear Joe

I had a peeping tom the entire time I was growing up, and I’ll probably be jumpy and paranoid forever because of it. So when I find out that someone has secretly looked for my blog and been all sly … Continue reading

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Pure and innocent

Yeah, here comes the rant: I don’t want to be the bad girl, the dirty girl, or the naughty one. I always wanted to be the sweet girl next door, but that choice was taken away before I was old … Continue reading

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